Saturday, December 25, 2010
Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow...
I am distinctly, unavoidably American. Add to that the fact that I grew up in a mixed marriage, and Christmas is still one of those times when my thoughts turn to family and togetherness and the like. Its not a religious holiday for me, just a time to be with the people you love. And so being away from my family today is difficult. This song is looping in my head, and therefore is being looped on iTunes and on YouTube. I've never related to this song so much as I do this year. I've lost more than I ever expected or thought. I'm alone in a city I hardly know with only a very small handful of brand new friends. I'm struggling to make ends meet. I'm still not out to my family, and with the looming fear that I may have to return to their home, I realize that if I come out to them I might not have a home to return to. And in spite of that fear, it hurts me deeply that I can't be with them today. I do hope that "next year all my troubles will be miles away," because this year has been a living hell.
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I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time, QY. I know how difficult it is to be away from family on what have traditionally been family days. I never celebrated XMas with my family, but Thanksgiving was a big deal. One year I was abroad for Thanksgiving, and it was one of the most depressing days of my life. I hope you find some comfort in your new friends. Please know there are people out there who are thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteHey man, things are rough by me too, I hear ya...here's another song to loop, hope it cheers you up at least a bit (it regularly mitigates my problems, however slightly):
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foL6eZzvzHo&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_fresh+div-1r-10-HM
Baruch Pelta
bpelta.blogspot.com
Thank you both for your support (and the song). Its good to hear some words of support. Having also missed Thanksgiving (this was only the second time in my life away from my family for that holiday), today was even harder. I truly appreciate your comments, and thanks for reading!
ReplyDeleteQY,
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew the words to fully support you and ease your burden. I know that with each passing day we grow stronger and with each challenge we come to appreciate those things we love the most. Your family may be at a distance and you may not be out to them, but I am sure they love all of you that they know. Trust in yourself, confide in your friends, build your own home and eventually you will be able to confide in your family (and hopefully be welcomed in) as well. B'Hatzlacha.